Nasty Vodka

Howdy folks! I am back. Having a hard time… but anyway 🙂

Normally, I talk about drinkable Vodka, right? This time I need to chat a bit about the most undrinkable Vodka that has ever been distilled. We all know about the dangers of hard drinking. But the danger of this special Vodka needs no hard drinking. Truth is: “Naga Chili Vodka” is hard to drink. It has staggering 250.000 Scoville. The “Scoville-Scala” rates the pungency of things.

Curtains up for “Naga Chili Vodka”glass
If you try to drink a chili-flavored Vodka with 100.000 Scoville, you will probably start to burn afterwards. You better call the fire squad in advance. If you would be served a Vodka shot with staggering 250.000 Scoville, you would need no space transporter to start to a Mars mission. You would have enough fire in your stomach to develop some kind of rocket propulsion. Wouldn’t it be entertaining when all your enemies were gone soon after they were served with a glass of Vodka flavored with dried “Naga Jolokia” chili? It sure would. Naga Jolokia chilis are also called “ghost pepper”. Some uninformed people state Naga chilis are the hottest chilis this planet has ever seen. But that is not true. The hottest chili that has ever been tested is called “Trinidad Scorpion Butch T” aka “Trinidad Moruga Scorpion”. You could strip all paint from your walls with it in no time. However, a shot glass of Vodka with Naga Jolokia chili would do in all your enemies nicely. It has shown many talents in “ghost pepper”-challenges, mostly in the form of superhot chili-sauce. You can have as much fun with “Naga Chili Vodka”, believe me. It is a real treat for culinary masochists. Envision a Vodka-distillery which soaked dried Naga Jolokia chilis in wheat Vodka with 80 percent alcoholic content. The men in the production-hall would need to wear gas-masks, so they’d not accidentally inhale the breathtaking chili fumes. Instead of using a normal flavoring dosis, the distillers you envisioned would double the sharpness of the Vodka by adding more chilis. The normal chili dose would have been enough. But humans always try to stretch boundaries. We need to find out what’s possible. The result is a Chili-Vodka that should be labeled as a lethal weapon.

The Vodka for suicidal daredevils
You can finish yourself with alcohol in two ways: the slow way consists of drinking vast amounts of Vodka for years. The shortcut is to sip on a bottle of “Naga Chili Vodka” (nope, please don’t try that!!). You want to sweeten the suicide-pill because you regard yourself as a coward in the matter of ending your life here? Well, you could test “Naga Chili Vodka” in a cocktail. In a “Bloody Mary” with a good shot of superhot chili sauce containing 250.000 Scoville, you can simulate the devastating effects of “Naga Chili Vodka”. It is very probable that you survive this. That would not neccessarily be true for the uncut Vodka. Even the distillers were extremely impressed at the results of their alcoholic experiment. Try and drink some raw “Naga Chili Vodka”. You will shoot to hell on the most direct way. One sniff only and your eyes burn. One little sip and you feel as if someone lighted a fire in your mouth. A second later you find yourself screaming for a recue-team. The devilish delay in the burning-effect makes it even harder for you because this Chili-Vodka takes its time to finish you off. When you start to think you can still manage and will survive somehow, you may even be right. If the sip was small enough, that is. Because, if you empty a shot glass of “Naga Chili Vodka” to demonstrate you are a real daredevil, you might regret it very soon. Noone looks good when tears run down his reddened face. Noone looks like a man with guts when he screams for an ambulance because he feels as though he would explode in a second or two. You may mumble some words under your flaming breath, but noone would understand what they were. You would demand to drink an ocean of milk or something that would end this culinary trip to hell – but nothing would do the trick. Before you even knew it, the flames from inside your mouth would be reaching your stomach. You’d learn to spell “misery” in capital letters. Being a man with some decency left inside of you, you would hopefully not bother your audience with vomiting somewhere. Prepare yourself for another trip to hell when you get rid of the 250.000 Scoville in a very unmanly way. The brutality of drinking a shot of “Naga Chili Vodka” is not softened by anything. It can not be compared with anything you ever tasted before. Only insane Vodka drinkers announce a “Naga Jolokia” Vodka-challenge.

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